The father’s first duty is to be
an image of Christ as with all believers so this section will focus on what is
commanded specifically to fathers, not the father’s responsibility as a
believer. That being said everything that the father is commanded to or that is
expected of him is building on his relationship with Christ.
The father is the head of the family, laid out in 1
Corinthians 11:3.[1] He
is head of the marriage, and head of each son until the young man is of age, and
daughter until his headship is transferred to another man. As the head he is
morally responsible to God for his family.
The husband is the spiritual leader in the marriage and if
God should bless them with children the leader of the family also. As such he has
the highest priority to lead his family spiritually.[2]
To lead his wife spiritually is his very highest and first priority as leader.
As he leads her closer to the savior their marriage will grow closer and they
will continue to become one in Christ. As he leads her he will also be leading
their children. Though the job of spiritual teaching is a joint effort by the
parents the husband is responsible to lead.
“As you know, like a father with his own children, we
encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you to walk worthy of God, who
calls you into His own kingdom and glory.” 1 Thessalonians 1:11-13
The Apostle Paul desired extremely that his spiritual
children grow and learn spiritually; even in the same way fathers should desire
the spiritual growth and maturity of their children. It cannot be emphasized
enough that this goal of spiritual maturity for his children should be the
highest priority, the most prayed and hoped for wish.
A father is
responsible to teach his children by example to walk in the light.[3]
In the Old Testament the Lord commanded:
“These words that I am giving you today are to be in your
heart. Repeat them to your children.
Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road,
when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let
them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house
and on your gates.”[4]
As he acts as head, teaching his
wife and children, the husband/father is also responsible to provide for the
family God has blessed him with. The Apostle Paul says:
“Command this, so that they won't be blamed. Now if anyone
does not provide for his own relatives, and especially for his household, he
has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Tim. 5:7-8
The woman is the weaker vessel, through the man God provided
a way for her and the children to be provided for. This does not mean that man
is put this priority above following God’s call. A husband must remember that
he cannot provide for his family without God. God is the ultimate provider,
working through the husband and church.
In the same way husband/father cannot fully protect his
family without God. His responsibility is to protect his family from harm and
to help them to “remain unstained by the world”.[5]
But as before, a father must remember that God is the ultimate protector[6]and
he cannot do anything without HIM.
A final word to Fathers:
As all these principles are exercised keep in mind that the
way it is gone about so as not to arouse anger[7],
cause discouragement[8]
but rather to inspire respect and honor. Also it must be remembered to use
discipline[9]
so that the child is ready to hear the word of the Lord.
[1]
Lit. “Husband head of wife.”
[2] No
matter the action of a man he is leading. As a man he can simply not avoid it.
The difference is whether he is leading well. So the man’s greatest
responsibility more clearly defined is to lead the family correctly and well
spiritually.
[3] 1
John 1:7
[4] Deuteronomy
6:6-9
[5]
James 1:27
[6]
Psalm 91:1-16
[7]
Ephesians 6:4
[8]
Colossians 3:21
[9]
Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs 13:24
