Of marble halls and crystal palaces...(or TRUST)

     Gazing trustingly into the adoring eyes of Gilbert Blythe, Anne Shirley quietly declares "I dont want marble halls and crystal palaces. All I want is you."  It takes Anne four whole books to finally realize that the dreams she has been pursuing and old ideal and ambitions she had were not worth giving up the one she loved for. She recognizes that they were not fulfilling.
(NOTE: If you thought this would be a post about guys...think again! :) Except, it might be, but only if you look very closely.) 
     It struck me what a similar scene occurs each time I finally give in my struggle for a particular dream or ambition. In the end I always confess that I don't really, really want those things. All I want is Him. I lay down my crystal palace in exchange for the fulness of Him.
     Aren't we humans odd? We hold so tightly to our hearts desires, whether they are a whim of the moment or a career of the future. We trade that dust and ashes for the fulness of His joy! We think these things will bring us joy when, in reality, "in HIS presence is fulness of joy and at HIS right hand are pleasures evermore." (emphasis mine)
     Now, I know my little parallel falls hopelessly short. After all Gilbert Blythe is not even comparable to the Lord Jesus (even with the gorgeous eyes). But I can't help seeing the same childlike stubbornness and tenacity in my own life as that little red-headed slip of a girl. And if I have learned anything in all the times I have had to gaze into His face and declare "All I want is you", it is to open my open hands. Let go. And then don't hang on to the dreams and ambitionsin the first place. Keep my hands open and place them into His. Hand in hand He will lead me, and we will have fellowship sweet. Its called TRUST.

The gift or the GIVER? (the neon sign of my life)

One day at the shop a woman came in and began to talk to me. Her loneliness was obvious in spite of her smile. The bitterness in her voice and sarcasm she used spoke of deep hurt. She began to tell me about herself and her hard life. The life she described reminded me of the woman at the well. (John 4) She was a very talented artist, but had never gone to school and instead had married and settled down.  She showed me some me some of her paintings on her phone. Her paintings could have come alive! But for all the wonder of her talent, she was bitter against anyone but herself. And who could blame her? Going through her now fifth divorce. She was bitter against her children for holding her back from a life devoted to art. to her  advice boiled down to  this: "Forget the desire for a family, it will simply impede you. Sacrifice your life to the "god" art and it will fulfill. With baggage from crumbled marriages and no Christ, her very countenance exuded bitterness. (I remember thinking "how could this be a truly fulfilled life? Is this what you are saying I have to look forward to?) That encounter did much to convince me I shouldn't pursue art as a career. But I still thought "I wish there was someway I could devote my life to art and still have a good family life and serve Jesus!"
Then I attended the funeral of a dear woman from my church. That woman could have been me! While she was alive, she and I talked about arts and crafts regularly and she encouraged me to practice and keep pursuing my art. Her great love of beauty and art and family really struck me. In fact at her funeral an interview that she had filled out was read. When asked what she was most proud of and wanted to be remembered for was "My love of art and family." I left that funeral thinking hard. Could I devote my life to my two greatest passions and still fit Jesus in? This woman had been godly, and a good mother, and yet art had been her life!
One of the greatest temptations for me is to settle for the gift instead of the giver. God has very graciously gifted me artistically. I have an innate love of beauty and a deep desire to make things beautiful. I have been encouraged, counseled, and (practically) commanded to follow that natural bent and devote my life to art. Is that what I was willing to settle for? Did I want to be remembered as all about Art? Questions swirled in my mind. And then it hit me, NO. I couldn't. I had tried to find contentment without Jesus, and it hadn't worked. I had been seized by the power of a great affection and I CAN NOT not settle for the gift and not the giver. I realized that what I desire more than family or art is Jesus. I desire Him to be the neon sign of my life, even if it means I never  got to art school or marry and have a family. My gifts/passions are for the Giver not to replace the Giver. My painting, drawings, crafts, etc. are all for Jesus because He is my life. I do not in any way desire to be all about art or family.  Just Jesus. Anything else is an outflow.
(Just so you know, I will continue to do art and expect to marry and have a family. I am not attacking those as the problem. The problem is when I choose to make them or anything other than Jesus my complete focus.)

Father's Day (A peek into my family)

Yesterday evening ended with my younger sister Diana processing from the living room to the dining room to, in her cap and gown (baseball cap and bathrobe) "graduating" from 3rd grade into 4th. IT had been a relatively normal Father's Day with s special meal, presents and pie. After the evening service, mom decided to have a little "graduation" for Deborah and Diana as they moved up.
So, Dad found Pomp and Circumstance online and David grabbed his snare drum. Dressed in their "caps and gowns" they processed from the living room to the dining room, while acting as silly as possible and plugging their ears to Davids loud drumming. Solemnly (w/ some giggles) they shook mom's hand and switched the ribbons, taped to their caps,to the other side. Amidst much giggling and drumming my dad gave a silly speech about their future impact on the community at large (a fat joke). I videoed and photographed the whole thing while laughing uproariously. All the while thanking God for my precious family!
Now you've gotten a peek into my family, and if you didn't find it funny well.... What can I say? You had to have been there!
(And, no don't even think I'm gonna share pictures. Those are strictly blackmail material only.)
I thank God upon every remembrance of my precious family.  

The Great Commission

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lc6GBR6eOg

Living between "Once upon a time" and "Happily ever after".

This is not a fairy tale. It is completely and totally true. And its wonder far surpasses that of a child's bed time story. It contains the majesty of the very power of God Almighty.
"Once upon a time..." I was drowning in my sin. Shackled in a prison cell I could not escape the dragon. I had been enslaved me from birth and my end was destruction. There was no hope. And the worst part was that I was unaware of these things.
Then came Jesus, the Prince of Peace. Lovingly He opened my eyes to my bondage and led me towards His light. Heroically he payed the ultimate price to rescue and to pardon me. In awe, though His grace I responded in faith and begged forgiveness. Instantly the eternal work of the cross was applied to my account, my name was written in His book, I was washed of my sins, I was adopted into His heavenly family, eternal life was breathed into me, all condemnation was removed, the Holy Spirit was given me as a "down payment" of more to come, all the riches of His grace were bestowed upon me, I was eternally predestined to be conformed to the Image of Himself, made co-heir, and so much more that it will take eternity to discover all that happened when I believed.
All of these wonders happened without me ever literally laying eyes on my Prince. Though I felt His presence with me and have His Holy Spirit, His physical body is seated at the right hand of God. His word tells me that I will see Him when He returns for me; but until then I am living between "Once upon at time" and "Happily ever after." Don't get me wrong; it is not that I am unhappy or think He did something wrong!Living between is a privilege, a high calling. He could have taken me straight to be with Him but instead He chose to use me! Me! The helpless blind idiot. He said through His power I would become strong to do the impossible task He had for me. With Him all things are possible.
And so living between "Once upon a time" and "Happily ever after" is exactly where I will stay until He comes for me. I will be content in this circumstance and even thrive!  For though I long to be with my Lord ( can I say that again? I LONG TO BE WITH MY LORD)  in His "Happily ever after" kingdom, I have unfinished business here. What about you? Will you live wishing for "Happily ever after" to come sooner? Or will you be content to live between  "Once upon a time" and "Happily ever after" for now?

The private devotions of Lancelot Andrewes

"For all that He suffered,
 in Gethsemane,
 in Gabbatha,
 in Calvary,
 For the pain,
the shame,
the curse,
of the cross,
That He deigned to be betrayed
and that by His own disciple,
 That He deigned to be sold,
and that for thirty pieces of silver;
to be troubled in His mind,
to be weary,
to be exceeding sorrowful,
even unto death,
to be in agony,
with strong crying,
 and tears,
to sweat great drops of blood,...
 to be left alone,
and denied b Peter,
and that with an oath,
and a curse;
to be laid hands on,
taken as a thief,
bound,
carried away,
hurried to Annas,
Caiaphas,
Pilate,
Herod,
Pilate the second time,
the Praetorium,
Gabbatha,
the cross.
Thou that wast silent before the judge, restrain my tongue.
Thou that didst deign to be bound, restrain my hands....
In that Thou was struck with the palm of the hand before Annas,
accused before Caiaphas,
attacked by false witnesses condemned for blasphemy...
 stricken,
spit upon,
reviled,
blasphemed: Thy head was crowned with thorns,
 and struck with the reed,
Thine eyes dim with tears,
Thine ears filled with reviling,
Thy mouth given to drink of gall and vinigar,
Thy face marred with spitting,
Thy back ploughed with the scourge,
Thy neck bent with the cross,...
Thy feet pierced with nails,
Thy heart oppressed with grief,
Thy side pierced with the lance,
Thy Blood flowing...
and Thy cry of agony "Eli, Eli!"...
Thou who didst deign that Thy glorious head should be wounded,
forgive thereby whatever, by the senses of my head,
I have sinned.
That Thy holy hands should be pierced,
 forgive thereby whatever I have done amiss by unlawful touch or illicit operation.
That Thy precious side should be opened,
forgive thereby whatever I have offended by lawless thoughts, in ardor of passion.
 That Thy blessed feet should be riven,
forgive thereby whatever I have done by means of feet swift to evil...
And I, too, Lord am wounded in soul; behold the multitude, the length the breadth, the depth of my wounds; and by Thine, heal mine."
-The private devotions of Lancelot Andrewes

The Gospel

The very ugliest of ugliness (besides the tempter) is the human soul without Christ. Entirely apart from God it is apart from all light, goodness, and beauty. It is the epitome of selfishness, laziness, greed, etc. and is utterly deceitful and desperately wicked.
But God in His great mercy loved us while we were yet enslaved in the muck, and sent His righteous son to impute that righteousness to out account. Through His act of  sacrifice (death on the cross)  we become dead to our old enslaved self and through His victory, (rising from the dead)alive in Him! Hallelujah!
The most Beautiful thing in the universe is God. The creator of beauty chose to turn the ugliest into a reflection of His beauty. He has brought us out of the darkness and into the light! And now we are bond-slaves  to the epitome of goodness  and loveliness to the only one who will never fail, fall, or change! What better life could we ask for? http://www.ellerslie.com/The_Gospel.html

What is a biblical Father?

The father’s first duty is to be an image of Christ as with all believers so this section will focus on what is commanded specifically to fathers, not the father’s responsibility as a believer. That being said everything that the father is commanded to or that is expected of him is building on his relationship with Christ.

The father is the head of the family, laid out in 1 Corinthians 11:3.[1] He is head of the marriage, and head of each son until the young man is of age, and daughter until his headship is transferred to another man. As the head he is morally responsible to God for his family.

The husband is the spiritual leader in the marriage and if God should bless them with children the leader of the family also. As such he has the highest priority to lead his family spiritually.[2] To lead his wife spiritually is his very highest and first priority as leader. As he leads her closer to the savior their marriage will grow closer and they will continue to become one in Christ. As he leads her he will also be leading their children. Though the job of spiritual teaching is a joint effort by the parents the husband is responsible to lead. 

“As you know, like a father with his own children, we encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you to walk worthy of God, who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.” 1 Thessalonians 1:11-13

The Apostle Paul desired extremely that his spiritual children grow and learn spiritually; even in the same way fathers should desire the spiritual growth and maturity of their children. It cannot be emphasized enough that this goal of spiritual maturity for his children should be the highest priority, the most prayed and hoped for wish.

 A father is responsible to teach his children by example to walk in the light.[3] In the Old Testament the Lord commanded:

“These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.  Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”[4] 

As he acts as head, teaching his wife and children, the husband/father is also responsible to provide for the family God has blessed him with. The Apostle Paul says:

“Command this, so that they won't be blamed. Now if anyone does not provide for his own relatives, and especially for his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”  1 Tim. 5:7-8

The woman is the weaker vessel, through the man God provided a way for her and the children to be provided for. This does not mean that man is put this priority above following God’s call. A husband must remember that he cannot provide for his family without God. God is the ultimate provider, working through the husband and church.

In the same way husband/father cannot fully protect his family without God. His responsibility is to protect his family from harm and to help them to “remain unstained by the world”.[5] But as before, a father must remember that God is the ultimate protector[6]and he cannot do anything without HIM.

A final word to Fathers:

As all these principles are exercised keep in mind that the way it is gone about so as not to arouse anger[7], cause discouragement[8] but rather to inspire respect and honor. Also it must be remembered to use discipline[9] so that the child is ready to hear the word of the Lord.

---

[1] Lit. “Husband head of wife.”

[2] No matter the action of a man he is leading. As a man he can simply not avoid it. The difference is whether he is leading well. So the man’s greatest responsibility more clearly defined is to lead the family correctly and well spiritually.

[3] 1 John 1:7

[4] Deuteronomy 6:6-9

[5] James 1:27

[6] Psalm 91:1-16

[7] Ephesians 6:4

[8] Colossians 3:21

[9] Proverbs 29:15, Proverbs 13:24